For everything there is a season,
The people in my group were surprised. They had no idea. Because they just know me as Tara, Mr. YH's wife with the three cute kids who teaches Sunday School and sometimes takes over the small group study, who home schools, and is a stay at home mom.
And then I got married and moved...a lot. And the seasons have changed....a lot.
During some seasons, I have been able to regularly practice and have even had opportunities to play publicly and even take some lessons. And during other times, the horn has sat in the corner, the case gathering dust and the valves and slides freezing up.
When we moved back here to Ukraine two years ago, our orders were messed up and we were juggling three kids and their gear. It was the first time since the sixth grade I had not hand- carried my horns with me and I had to watch them get packed in a box, hoping I'd see them again....there were many times I wished I had them with me while we waited 4.5 months for our household goods to arrive from the States.
The last box I unpacked when everything arrived had my trumpets in it. I waited until the end because it meant everything else had been taken care of and I could open it and enjoy them. Music is a language of the soul.
So this tour in Ukraine has been another season or two or five...I've lost count. I've had times I've been able to practice, but it hasn't been anything consistent. I teach Big Girl piano lessons weekly and I even find time to sit down at the piano and get lost for a few minutes, but it's just not the same. Even though a piece of paper that says I earned some title is in storage, practically speaking, I didn't want to be in storage!
I kept looking at my schedule and trying to figure out how to fit playing in. If I don't get things done for myself- exercising, my quiet time, a shower- in the morning, I'm just too wiped out in the afternoon to feel like doing any of those things. I wondered if adding a practice time into the morning routine would be a little too selfish....it'd have to be after the kids were awake and after the neighbors were up and about which would cut into school time. I prayed and prayed about how to use my time wisely and talked to Mr. YH who happily encouraged me to take the time and assured me that the kids' education wouldn't be harmed.
So that's been part of my latest organizational overhaul- to include a daily formal practice time. When Big Girl's scheduled practice time for piano and guitar rolls around, I have been able to spend some time getting reaquainted with my own music. Sometimes Baby Girl gets all cozy on my bed and reads while I practice...and when the time is up, we jump into the day's school lessons, and we've been able to get it all done. It feels so good!
I wanted to share that bit of testimony because I think that there are a lot of ladies out there who are educated and accomplished in some form or fashion. Different seasons of life require that our time and attention be focused elsewhere. And we feel guilty, disappointed- maybe even bitter- that we aren't "using our education and/or talents."
Listen. Don't. Don't go there. Every single experience we've had makes us who we are today, and if we are diligent to seek the Lord, He is faithful in being found. And His priorities will be ours and all that He has used to make us who we are will be used in some form or fashion- every.single.day. And a time will come when we can have more time to enjoy those first passions.